Category Archives: Self

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Why I Cover My Head In Church

My Dear Reader,

During my trip last year to Italy and the tours we took at the Vatican, I had an awakening.

I had gone back and forth between wearing a veil and not wearing a veil when I was younger.  I often stopped wearing when I felt that uncomfortable by being the only one in a congregation that was wearing one.  Peer pressure put me at odds with something I wanted to be doing.  I am blessed now to know I don’t need to be worried about what others think of me while I’m in church.

There are a lot of reasons why women veil inside the Catholic Church.  Some quote scripture and say that they veil based on scripture, others say it comforts them and reminds them of the way the congregation once respected God’s house pre-Vatican II, and others that it is a sign of respect and humility.

I fall into that last category.

We know that Jesus resides in our churches.  The red glow of the candle lit near the tabernacle reminds us so.  In the consecrated host, He is physically present in every church most days during the year except for the time between the Maundy Thursday and the Easter Vigil on Saturday when the consecrated host is removed from the tabernacle to symbolize for Catholics the time between Jesus’ death and His resurrection.

Now, the moment of awakening…we took a tour under the basilica and came up to the inside of the basilica at St. Peter’s feet.  After seeing what I had seen underneath and knowing what I now knew about the Vatican and the faith that built this amazing city, I knew I wanted to humble myself before my God and my Savior.  Not so others could see me and think me pious.  Not so Father would think of me as devout.  Not to “prove” anything to anyone.

In this act of covering my head, I honor my God.  He created me.  He loves me.  He sent His only Son to die for my sins so I can be with Him in eternity.

How can you know this and not want to cover your head before your Savior’s physical presence inside the church?

It is interesting to me that in Italy, especially in Rome but also elsewhere, there are signs in the churches and baskets of cotton scarves.  They ask women to cover their shoulders when entering, as a sign of respect for the holiness of the place they are entering.

I contend that when we humble ourselves before God, when we show that we understand that Jesus physically lives in our churches through the Eucharist and in the consecrated host that stays within the tabernacle behind the altar, that we are transformed and are better disposed to hear the voice of God in our lives and to remember the amazing sacrifice of His Son, Jesus.

Covering your head can take many forms.  I have recently ordered veils from Liturgical Time on Etsy because I think the Infinity-style of the veil will make it easier for me to wear as a scarf before I place over my head as I step into church.  I usually wear scarves or hats although I keep a small black triangle veil in my car in case I decide to stop at church or I forget to wear a scarf.  Overtime, I’ve found that infinity scarves or long rectangular scarves work best for me versus other types of scarves but I really think it is a personal choice.  Many ladies at our church wear white or black veils, some with adornments, others plain.  The style isn’t as important as making that initial decision to cover your head.

You may be asking yourself, why are you sharing this?  No one cares.  Or even, why is she preaching at me about veils, scarves and hats?  It’s not her concern.

That may be so, but again, my readers, I write as I am inspired to do so.  I believe that I am called to share this information about my own journey.  It may not change anyone’s life but perhaps it will inspire you to remember that you are in the presence of the physical body of Jesus Christ when you walk into church.

As always, you are in my prayers.

Yours in Christ’s Love,

Mrs. Summitt

 

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Here I Am Lord

Yesterday was the Feast of the Holy Family, one of my favorite feast days. The thought of Mary, Joseph and Jesus as a happy family leading a normal, every day existence reminds me that God’s plan doesn’t always match our version of what His plan should be. Sometimes the calm, boring routines of life are exactly what we must experience in order for us to be ready for what He has in store for us.

Case in point, my own journey. As I was conversing with God during Mass and meditating on the path I find myself on, God very clearly asked me what I thought I was doing. It went something like this:

Me: Lord, help me to continue to do your will. Help me to walk this path unafraid and to speak Your truth in all I do.

God: What are you doing?

Me: Praying about the podcast and Your plans for me.

God: Hmmm. You realize that you aren’t exactly doing what I asked you to do.

Me: (feeling a bit annoyed) I am too. You asked me to do a Catholic Podcast and I am. It isn’t easy divining which topics I should be talking about.

God: (also sounding a bit annoyed) That’s because you aren’t supposed to be attempting to teach on topics of faith. Not yet. This is supposed to be the time for you to tell YOUR story. YOUR faith journey. YOUR struggles with listening to MY call.

Me: I don’t want to tell my story.

God: I know. You need to. That is what I’m asking you to do. You’ve managed to both know you’re being called and avoid it for many years. Enough is enough. Get to it.

Me: Hmph.

God: Do you have faith in Me?

Me: Yes.

God: Do you trust Me?

Me: Yes, You know I do.

God: All these fears you have. If you do what I’ve called you to do and you do it in faith, all of those fears go away.

Me: I’m scared I’ll fail.

God: As long as you’re doing what I asked, you cannot fail. At least not in the ways that matter.

So, here I am, rebooting again and asking you, my dear readers, to have patience. Perhaps a little less than God has had with me, but more than I have with myself.

I’ll be telling you about my faith journey. It won’t be easy, at least not for me. I ask you to pray for me, as I do for you. Pray that I listen to God’s words in my heart and allow Him to help me tell this story that I never thought I would share. Ever.

I am here, Lord. I am yours, Lord. I walk into Your light unafraid.

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I Have A Confession To Make

I have a confession to make. Seriously, I need to go to confession. First, I need to check the confession schedule for a church I don’t attend regularly. It’s always easier to tell your sins to a priest you don’t really know and who isn’t going to see you on Sunday. Am I right? The funny thing is, the One really forgiving me knows who I am no matter where I go to confess 😉

However, I am going to talk publicly about this grave sin here before I confess officially. Consider it my willingness to own that I knew I was sinning, committed it willfully and only recently realized the depths of what that sin means to my soul and to my journey to live a saintly life.

I am a contracepting Catholic. I have had my reasons since marrying for wanting to ensure no pregnancy while still enjoying intimacy with my husband. Some are health related, others purely selfish. It isn’t that I don’t agree with the church’s teaching, I do. I’ve read the substantive parts of Humnae Vitae and Theology of the Body. I understand the tenants and acknowledge their validity.

Why then would I knowingly sin? The easy answer is I am human. The more difficult truth is I was not willing to surrender to God’s will for my life in fear that it did not match my own. The height of arrogance! I also didn’t believe enough in the love between my husband ( a non-Catholic) and myself to trust in how he would react to my fears about my health, pregnancy, and fears of becoming a parent with a 20 year old (another story) as well as an infant.

All that recently changed thanks to an uncomfortable sermon. Father challenged us all to look inside as to our worthiness to receive communion. He reminded us that receiving while knowingly having committed a grievous sin that we’ve yet to confess diminishes the receipt of our Savior in communion and is in itself a grave sin. Whew! After that sermon I was surprised anyone but the children went up for communion!

Those words forced me to face what I had earlier been unwilling to, that I was sinning at a magnitude unbecoming of my faith.

What did I do about it? I set an appointment with my doctor to talk about my health and a possible pregnancy. We meet again soon with specialists to talk about a strategy to prepare my body for potential pregnancy. My husband and I talked about what we will do if the doctors come back and say that a pregnancy is unadvisable given my current state of health. We also talked about my fears and my husband, while hurt, forgave me for my lapse in faith. We also broke out the booklet from our NFP training and are reacquainting ourselves with the process. We even discussed abstinence while we wait on all the other pieces to sort out. I am truly blessed to have married to such an amazing man!

The relief in having these discussions has morphed into a resolve that I speak openly about this struggle. I have recently watched “catholic” women exhort contraception and abortion as societal “norms” and necessities against the consequences of live and let live promiscuity. What these women fail to acknowledge is that love and life are precious gifts, ones meant to be fulfilled under the promises of God and not under the admonitions of men. We cannot blithely choose to ignore what God has allowed us, through science, to understand. Life is a gift. To us. To our children.

As for me, I seek out God’s forgiveness for my human failings. I put my trust in Him to move my life forward under His plan for me rather than my own flawed plan.

If you see me at confession….ssshhh….I still hope Father doesn’t recognize me 😉

Yours in Christ.
Mrs. Summitt