Yesterday was the Feast of the Holy Family, one of my favorite feast days. The thought of Mary, Joseph and Jesus as a happy family leading a normal, every day existence reminds me that God’s plan doesn’t always match our version of what His plan should be. Sometimes the calm, boring routines of life are exactly what we must experience in order for us to be ready for what He has in store for us.
Case in point, my own journey. As I was conversing with God during Mass and meditating on the path I find myself on, God very clearly asked me what I thought I was doing. It went something like this:
Me: Lord, help me to continue to do your will. Help me to walk this path unafraid and to speak Your truth in all I do.
God: What are you doing?
Me: Praying about the podcast and Your plans for me.
God: Hmmm. You realize that you aren’t exactly doing what I asked you to do.
Me: (feeling a bit annoyed) I am too. You asked me to do a Catholic Podcast and I am. It isn’t easy divining which topics I should be talking about.
God: (also sounding a bit annoyed) That’s because you aren’t supposed to be attempting to teach on topics of faith. Not yet. This is supposed to be the time for you to tell YOUR story. YOUR faith journey. YOUR struggles with listening to MY call.
Me: I don’t want to tell my story.
God: I know. You need to. That is what I’m asking you to do. You’ve managed to both know you’re being called and avoid it for many years. Enough is enough. Get to it.
Me: Hmph.
God: Do you have faith in Me?
Me: Yes.
God: Do you trust Me?
Me: Yes, You know I do.
God: All these fears you have. If you do what I’ve called you to do and you do it in faith, all of those fears go away.
Me: I’m scared I’ll fail.
God: As long as you’re doing what I asked, you cannot fail. At least not in the ways that matter.
So, here I am, rebooting again and asking you, my dear readers, to have patience. Perhaps a little less than God has had with me, but more than I have with myself.
I’ll be telling you about my faith journey. It won’t be easy, at least not for me. I ask you to pray for me, as I do for you. Pray that I listen to God’s words in my heart and allow Him to help me tell this story that I never thought I would share. Ever.
I am here, Lord. I am yours, Lord. I walk into Your light unafraid.
