Category Archives: Past is Past

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Podcasts Aren’t Easy

I spent the better part of Saturday morning attempting to record my first podcast.

Well, not exactly my first.  I had done a series several years ago of the Rosary when there weren’t any available to download.  That was a long time ago though and I knew exactly what to say.

I find myself at an interesting crossroads with the podcasting.  I feel that I should be speaking about matters related to faith but I am so frustrated by the recent election that everything I speak about ends up being related to politics and law.  Perhaps that is intentional.  We cannot be authentically Catholic and not have our beliefs wrap into our day to day existence and the politics surrounding this nation.

I am going to try and speak mainly about our faith but expect the relation to politics to show up.  We can no longer be a ‘live and let live’ society and expect to keep our religious freedoms intact.  Morality and faith are not compatible with current society.  It is very Old Testament.  The golden calf is being trotted around and the people are bowing to it while we look away sickened by the willingness of the masses to engage in sinful behavior that darkens their souls and leads them away from God.

As usual, I digress from my topic but I’ll leave you with the thought that my first podcast is coming soon.  Hopefully with limited politics 🙂

Yours in Christ,

Mrs. Summitt

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God’s Calling, Has Anyone Seen My Phone?

Hello Dear Reader!

You may be stumbling here to see if I have words of wisdom in the aftermath of a highly disappointing November 6th.  I do not.

I’m not much on wisdom today having felt like pulling an Atlas Shrugs moment and vacating from all responsibilities that would require my hard earned dollars to be given to the government rather than to where I choose to give it.  Luckily, God called this morning (figuratively) and for the first time in a long time, I had my ringer turned on my soul-phone and I answered.

What did God have to say?  Well it wasn’t to agree with my perspective this morning on going to Galt’s Gulch.  No, it was more of a marching orders call.  As a soldier in God’s Spiritual Army, He provided me with the next step on my journey.  I am still in a bit of shock but I have faith.  If you’re wondering what exactly this next step is, keep reading.

This website is just the beginning.  It is a way to get me thinking and writing on paper (or pc), to get used to putting out my thoughts, feelings, life lessons for the world to see, to become comfortable with it.   Keep reading…the good stuff is in the next part 🙂

Hears how my soul-phone conversation with God went this morning after I realized what I’m supposed to be doing with my life in service to Him:

Me  – Whoa!  Are you kidding me?  I’ve barely blogged since that realization that this was part of your path for me.

God’s response – It isn’t as though I haven’t tried to get you to blog.  (a voice that sounds like mine chimes in “I’m too tired.” “I’m too busy.”  “I don’t feel good.” “I have work to do.” “I have school work to do.” “Mom’s in town.”)

Me – It can’t be time though, right?  You’re just giving me a heads up and then in a few months when life is a little more quiet after the holidays…….that’s when I should start, right?

God’s response – Nice try, but no.  I know you don’t feel ready.  Why is that?

Me – Well, because I’m not.  I have bills to pay, work to get done, a husband and child to take care of, charities to raise money for, family to love, Christmas cards to write, a house to clean….. When am I going to do THIS?  HOW am I going to do THIS?  I don’t KNOW HOW to do any of THIS!  HOW can I do THIS and still pay the bills?

God’s response – Do you trust in ME?  Believe in ME?  Love ME?

Me – Of course I do!

God’s response – Then…….

Me – Humph!  Fine.  I will start but I need help.

God’s response – Help is always there when you’re doing My will.  If you do what I ask, the help will arrive just when you need it most.

Me – *sigh* Ok.

So, here I am… announcing… that mrssummitt.com is going to be growing to include a podcast and eventually video-casts and other downloadable mp3’s with favorite prayers and devotions.

More to come…first I need to go buy a microphone and figure out what I’m supposed to say and to whom.  Of course, first part of that first is I need some sleep.  As with most folks who think as I do, last night was a very long night and today was just as long.  The light is there though……within each of us.  Just pray and God will help that light shine as a beacon to others.  We can make a difference, we will make a difference.

I’ll leave you with this, A Prayer for Daily Neglects:

Eternal Father, I offer Thee the Sacred Heart of Jesus, with all its love, all its sufferings and all its merits.

 First – To expiate all the sins I have committed this day and during all my life.(Glory be to the Father…)

 Second – To purify the good I have done badly this day and during all my life.(Glory Be to the Father…)

 Third – To minister for the good I ought to have done, and that I have neglected this day and during all my life.(Glory Be to the Father…)

Amen.

(If you are not familiar with the Glory Be…

Glory Be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit.  As it was in the beginning, is now, and ever shall be, world without end. Amen.)

In Christ’s Love,

Mrs. Summitt

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Why I Keep Sending God To Voicemail

I like to believe that I’m self-aware, I know my flaws, I know when I’ve crossed lines, I know when I’m not quite living up to my own promises and expectations.  As humans, most of us trip on the journey and if we’re lucky we recover before we hit the ground or even after but with only a few bruises and scrapes to our soul.  So, I consider the fact that I rarely “hit the ground” any more to be “proof” of my self-awareness.

I’m sure you are now thinking to yourself, “You sound sanctimonious not self-aware.”
I agree.  I do.

When I sat down to write this post, I thought I understood what I was going to say, the points I wanted to make, the thrill I would get from sharing with you, my dear reader, all that God has given to me in the grace of self-awareness.

Not so much.

My original intent today was to discuss how even self-aware types can sometimes miss the call from God and I expect I’ll still end up there by the end of this post.  However, a secondary theme is forming which is the thing that leads us to miss God’s call.  Arrogant, Sanctimonious, Self-Righteous…these behaviors keep us from hearing God’s voice.  Mainly because we think we already know what God is calling us to do so we stop listening.  Basically, we send God to voicemail.

As you may recall, I wrote in my relaunch post for the site that I had been attempting to avoid God’s call.  I thought at the time I was done running from Him.  I realize now that while I’m not running anymore, I certainly don’t pick up every time He calls.

Why do I just now realize this?  My journey is often clouded by little distractions, much as when a pull in a sweater  you’re wearing catches your eye.  You can’t help yourself, you pick at it, rub it, poke at it, maybe even tug on it to see if you can just pull the thread out without ruining the entire thing.  Life sometimes gets that way for me.  I end up with hours of time lost on picking at the pulls instead of focusing on listening for God and answering when He calls.  Of course that doesn’t really answer the question of how I now realize I’ve been sending God to voicemail.  That story starts in the next paragraph.

My brother-in-law, Chris, is an amazing man.  Calm, rational, thoughtful, prayerful, giving and frankly, someone who could write a book on how to deal with his in-laws, including me.  As usual when we finally have a chance to sit down as a family and catch up I mention some conversation with a colleague that I found amusing.  I was at an event and one of my colleagues during an exchange said she felt that she would be seeing me on TV one day very soon.  I laughed nervously and said “only if I’m arrested.”  (True Fact: I am not always witty)  In the exchange with Chris I mentioned that I don’t consider myself an extraordinary person and added in that I am of a certain age.  We chatted a little more, he mentioned Mother Teresa and we talked about how I felt I was answering God’s call but perhaps had let a few calls go unanswered and needed to get back to my purpose.  Then I realized – I still don’t know the answer to what that purpose is.  I’m still just a few steps in and I haven’t been asking for that next step to be illuminated.

That leads me to this moment, this post and some very odd musings.

I’m apparently not self-aware or God-aware.

Did those unanswered calls include the revelation of God’s vision of my true purpose?

Was my spiritual answering machine at least plugged in so I can listen to God’s voicemails?  Did He leave any?

Is there some way He could text me instead?  I’m really good at answering my texts, not so good at answering calls.

Maybe He tweets and I just need to find His twitter handle?

Maybe I shouldn’t have deleted my FB account.  He might have been sending me messages there.

Why can’t I ever actually quiet my mind, even in prayer (or blog post writing)?

Is He calling me to play powerball yet?

Does this line of thinking indicate I’ve gone off the deep end?

Ok, so perhaps God is unlikely to respond to these particular questions but He always answers the important ones and I’ve learned not to take for granted that I will always hear His call.  First, I need to learn to listen for His call no matter what else is going on in my life.

To that end,  I am going to pray The Litany of Humility and then head to confession.

O Jesus meek and humble of heart, hear me
From the desire of being esteemed………Deliver Me Jesus
From the desire of being loved………….Deliver me Jesus
From the desire of being extolled ……….Deliver me Jesus
From the desire of being honored…………..Deliver me Jesus
From the desire of being praised……… Deliver me Jesus.
From the desire of being preferred………Deliver me Jesus
From the desire of being consulted………..Deliver me Jesus
From the desire of being approved………….Deliver me Jesus
From the fear of being humiliated………Deliver me Jesus
From the fear of being despised…………Deliver me Jesus
From the fear of suffering rebukes…………..Deliver me Jesus
From the fear of being calumniated………..Deliver me Jesus
From the fear of being forgotten……………. Deliver me Jesus
From the fear of being ridiculed…………..Deliver me Jesus
From the fear of being wronged…………Deliver me Jesus
From the fear of being suspected………..Deliver me Jesus
That others may be loved more than I……….Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it
That others may be esteemed more than I …………….Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it
That in the opinion of the world others may increase and I may decrease…………..Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it
That others may be chosen and I set aside…………Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it
That others may be praised and I unnoticed…………Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it
That others may become holier than I, provided that I may became as holy as I should…………………..Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it. Amen and Amen

Yours in Christ’s Love,

Mrs. Summitt

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Connecting To Our Roots

Dear Reader,
I am currently in Italy on vacation and had thought I would wait until getting back home before writing anything new for my blog. As usual, the Lord has a different timetable. Since this blog is directed by Him, I am sitting on a bus on the way from Sorrento to Positano thinking about what to share with you.

The images in my mind are a bit of a jumble…so I ask your forbearance as I separate out the thoughts for coherency.

We, as a Catholic people, have forgotten our roots. We have turned away from our homeland, the Vatican. I do not necessarily mean the Magesterium or the Basilica but rather the remembrance of what took place on that hill in Rome so many years ago to Christ’s Vicar on Earth, our first Pope, St. Peter or if you prefer, San Pietro.

I had the amazing privilege and honor to tour underneath the Vatican during this trip to Italy. The tour takes you into the necropolis where Romans were buried according to their traditions in the time before and after Christ. It also leads you to St Peter’s tomb. You are not able to touch the tomb but you are able to see pieces of it from several angles. A column here, some marble there, the table built above as a chapel of sorts by early Christians. You are not allowed to take photos so I am unable to share the scene.

I can however share the feeling. I was overwhelmed with humility and longing for closeness to God. The very fiber of my being vibrated…it was almost as if my very DNA felt as though it was “home”. This holiest of places, where Christ’s Vicar on Earth, Peter, was crucified and interred, finishing the mission Christ gave to him as He ascended to Heaven. I was standing right there!

So unworthy am I to be in the presence of even the bones of Peter! Yet, I was afforded this gift and am now charged with sharing with you, dear reader, what I’ve been asked to take away from it.

First, the selflessness of Peter. Yes, he denied Christ three times when Our Lord was swept up to begin the inevitable path to crucifixion. Yet, Christ also gave Peter a great charge…the one to guide His flock, to ensure His gift of redemption was heard and understood around the world. Peter did just that and through unbroken succession, Christ’s Vicar on Earth, the Pope continues to nurture and guide us in our faith and on our individual journey to sainthood. If only I could be so selfless perhaps I wouldn’t need confession so often!

Second, that God continues to call us home, both to the Vatican and to Heaven. The Vatican fills our mortal selves with the knowledge and fortitude for the journey through our earthly existence to our ultimate destination, Heaven. At the Vatican, we can touch the Divine, walk where the saints trod and revisit the magnificence of our faith. I also cannot discount the hundreds of churches in Rome, each with relics and tombs that allow us within a glass pane’s width of a saint! A journey I believe every Catholic should attempt at some point in their life.

Third, it is never and I do mean never (at least in our earthly existence) too late to listen to God’s call and begin your own journey of discovering the purpose He created you for. While the path is not particularly easy and to be honest, is often frustrating for someone (like me) used to instant answers and immediate rewards, it is one with the ultimate reward..heaven!

When I am home safe and sound, I will add some photos from the Basilica and the Vatican Museum as well as a few of the churches I had the great honor to explore and pray in.

More on the “singing rocks” during my accidental pilgrimage as well over the next days.

Yours in Christ’s Love,
Mrs. Summitt

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I Have A Confession To Make

I have a confession to make. Seriously, I need to go to confession. First, I need to check the confession schedule for a church I don’t attend regularly. It’s always easier to tell your sins to a priest you don’t really know and who isn’t going to see you on Sunday. Am I right? The funny thing is, the One really forgiving me knows who I am no matter where I go to confess 😉

However, I am going to talk publicly about this grave sin here before I confess officially. Consider it my willingness to own that I knew I was sinning, committed it willfully and only recently realized the depths of what that sin means to my soul and to my journey to live a saintly life.

I am a contracepting Catholic. I have had my reasons since marrying for wanting to ensure no pregnancy while still enjoying intimacy with my husband. Some are health related, others purely selfish. It isn’t that I don’t agree with the church’s teaching, I do. I’ve read the substantive parts of Humnae Vitae and Theology of the Body. I understand the tenants and acknowledge their validity.

Why then would I knowingly sin? The easy answer is I am human. The more difficult truth is I was not willing to surrender to God’s will for my life in fear that it did not match my own. The height of arrogance! I also didn’t believe enough in the love between my husband ( a non-Catholic) and myself to trust in how he would react to my fears about my health, pregnancy, and fears of becoming a parent with a 20 year old (another story) as well as an infant.

All that recently changed thanks to an uncomfortable sermon. Father challenged us all to look inside as to our worthiness to receive communion. He reminded us that receiving while knowingly having committed a grievous sin that we’ve yet to confess diminishes the receipt of our Savior in communion and is in itself a grave sin. Whew! After that sermon I was surprised anyone but the children went up for communion!

Those words forced me to face what I had earlier been unwilling to, that I was sinning at a magnitude unbecoming of my faith.

What did I do about it? I set an appointment with my doctor to talk about my health and a possible pregnancy. We meet again soon with specialists to talk about a strategy to prepare my body for potential pregnancy. My husband and I talked about what we will do if the doctors come back and say that a pregnancy is unadvisable given my current state of health. We also talked about my fears and my husband, while hurt, forgave me for my lapse in faith. We also broke out the booklet from our NFP training and are reacquainting ourselves with the process. We even discussed abstinence while we wait on all the other pieces to sort out. I am truly blessed to have married to such an amazing man!

The relief in having these discussions has morphed into a resolve that I speak openly about this struggle. I have recently watched “catholic” women exhort contraception and abortion as societal “norms” and necessities against the consequences of live and let live promiscuity. What these women fail to acknowledge is that love and life are precious gifts, ones meant to be fulfilled under the promises of God and not under the admonitions of men. We cannot blithely choose to ignore what God has allowed us, through science, to understand. Life is a gift. To us. To our children.

As for me, I seek out God’s forgiveness for my human failings. I put my trust in Him to move my life forward under His plan for me rather than my own flawed plan.

If you see me at confession….ssshhh….I still hope Father doesn’t recognize me 😉

Yours in Christ.
Mrs. Summitt