Category Archives: catholic

by

Why I Keep Sending God To Voicemail

I like to believe that I’m self-aware, I know my flaws, I know when I’ve crossed lines, I know when I’m not quite living up to my own promises and expectations.  As humans, most of us trip on the journey and if we’re lucky we recover before we hit the ground or even after but with only a few bruises and scrapes to our soul.  So, I consider the fact that I rarely “hit the ground” any more to be “proof” of my self-awareness.

I’m sure you are now thinking to yourself, “You sound sanctimonious not self-aware.”
I agree.  I do.

When I sat down to write this post, I thought I understood what I was going to say, the points I wanted to make, the thrill I would get from sharing with you, my dear reader, all that God has given to me in the grace of self-awareness.

Not so much.

My original intent today was to discuss how even self-aware types can sometimes miss the call from God and I expect I’ll still end up there by the end of this post.  However, a secondary theme is forming which is the thing that leads us to miss God’s call.  Arrogant, Sanctimonious, Self-Righteous…these behaviors keep us from hearing God’s voice.  Mainly because we think we already know what God is calling us to do so we stop listening.  Basically, we send God to voicemail.

As you may recall, I wrote in my relaunch post for the site that I had been attempting to avoid God’s call.  I thought at the time I was done running from Him.  I realize now that while I’m not running anymore, I certainly don’t pick up every time He calls.

Why do I just now realize this?  My journey is often clouded by little distractions, much as when a pull in a sweater  you’re wearing catches your eye.  You can’t help yourself, you pick at it, rub it, poke at it, maybe even tug on it to see if you can just pull the thread out without ruining the entire thing.  Life sometimes gets that way for me.  I end up with hours of time lost on picking at the pulls instead of focusing on listening for God and answering when He calls.  Of course that doesn’t really answer the question of how I now realize I’ve been sending God to voicemail.  That story starts in the next paragraph.

My brother-in-law, Chris, is an amazing man.  Calm, rational, thoughtful, prayerful, giving and frankly, someone who could write a book on how to deal with his in-laws, including me.  As usual when we finally have a chance to sit down as a family and catch up I mention some conversation with a colleague that I found amusing.  I was at an event and one of my colleagues during an exchange said she felt that she would be seeing me on TV one day very soon.  I laughed nervously and said “only if I’m arrested.”  (True Fact: I am not always witty)  In the exchange with Chris I mentioned that I don’t consider myself an extraordinary person and added in that I am of a certain age.  We chatted a little more, he mentioned Mother Teresa and we talked about how I felt I was answering God’s call but perhaps had let a few calls go unanswered and needed to get back to my purpose.  Then I realized – I still don’t know the answer to what that purpose is.  I’m still just a few steps in and I haven’t been asking for that next step to be illuminated.

That leads me to this moment, this post and some very odd musings.

I’m apparently not self-aware or God-aware.

Did those unanswered calls include the revelation of God’s vision of my true purpose?

Was my spiritual answering machine at least plugged in so I can listen to God’s voicemails?  Did He leave any?

Is there some way He could text me instead?  I’m really good at answering my texts, not so good at answering calls.

Maybe He tweets and I just need to find His twitter handle?

Maybe I shouldn’t have deleted my FB account.  He might have been sending me messages there.

Why can’t I ever actually quiet my mind, even in prayer (or blog post writing)?

Is He calling me to play powerball yet?

Does this line of thinking indicate I’ve gone off the deep end?

Ok, so perhaps God is unlikely to respond to these particular questions but He always answers the important ones and I’ve learned not to take for granted that I will always hear His call.  First, I need to learn to listen for His call no matter what else is going on in my life.

To that end,  I am going to pray The Litany of Humility and then head to confession.

O Jesus meek and humble of heart, hear me
From the desire of being esteemed………Deliver Me Jesus
From the desire of being loved………….Deliver me Jesus
From the desire of being extolled ……….Deliver me Jesus
From the desire of being honored…………..Deliver me Jesus
From the desire of being praised……… Deliver me Jesus.
From the desire of being preferred………Deliver me Jesus
From the desire of being consulted………..Deliver me Jesus
From the desire of being approved………….Deliver me Jesus
From the fear of being humiliated………Deliver me Jesus
From the fear of being despised…………Deliver me Jesus
From the fear of suffering rebukes…………..Deliver me Jesus
From the fear of being calumniated………..Deliver me Jesus
From the fear of being forgotten……………. Deliver me Jesus
From the fear of being ridiculed…………..Deliver me Jesus
From the fear of being wronged…………Deliver me Jesus
From the fear of being suspected………..Deliver me Jesus
That others may be loved more than I……….Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it
That others may be esteemed more than I …………….Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it
That in the opinion of the world others may increase and I may decrease…………..Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it
That others may be chosen and I set aside…………Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it
That others may be praised and I unnoticed…………Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it
That others may become holier than I, provided that I may became as holy as I should…………………..Jesus, grant me the grace to desire it. Amen and Amen

Yours in Christ’s Love,

Mrs. Summitt

by

Connecting To Our Roots

Dear Reader,
I am currently in Italy on vacation and had thought I would wait until getting back home before writing anything new for my blog. As usual, the Lord has a different timetable. Since this blog is directed by Him, I am sitting on a bus on the way from Sorrento to Positano thinking about what to share with you.

The images in my mind are a bit of a jumble…so I ask your forbearance as I separate out the thoughts for coherency.

We, as a Catholic people, have forgotten our roots. We have turned away from our homeland, the Vatican. I do not necessarily mean the Magesterium or the Basilica but rather the remembrance of what took place on that hill in Rome so many years ago to Christ’s Vicar on Earth, our first Pope, St. Peter or if you prefer, San Pietro.

I had the amazing privilege and honor to tour underneath the Vatican during this trip to Italy. The tour takes you into the necropolis where Romans were buried according to their traditions in the time before and after Christ. It also leads you to St Peter’s tomb. You are not able to touch the tomb but you are able to see pieces of it from several angles. A column here, some marble there, the table built above as a chapel of sorts by early Christians. You are not allowed to take photos so I am unable to share the scene.

I can however share the feeling. I was overwhelmed with humility and longing for closeness to God. The very fiber of my being vibrated…it was almost as if my very DNA felt as though it was “home”. This holiest of places, where Christ’s Vicar on Earth, Peter, was crucified and interred, finishing the mission Christ gave to him as He ascended to Heaven. I was standing right there!

So unworthy am I to be in the presence of even the bones of Peter! Yet, I was afforded this gift and am now charged with sharing with you, dear reader, what I’ve been asked to take away from it.

First, the selflessness of Peter. Yes, he denied Christ three times when Our Lord was swept up to begin the inevitable path to crucifixion. Yet, Christ also gave Peter a great charge…the one to guide His flock, to ensure His gift of redemption was heard and understood around the world. Peter did just that and through unbroken succession, Christ’s Vicar on Earth, the Pope continues to nurture and guide us in our faith and on our individual journey to sainthood. If only I could be so selfless perhaps I wouldn’t need confession so often!

Second, that God continues to call us home, both to the Vatican and to Heaven. The Vatican fills our mortal selves with the knowledge and fortitude for the journey through our earthly existence to our ultimate destination, Heaven. At the Vatican, we can touch the Divine, walk where the saints trod and revisit the magnificence of our faith. I also cannot discount the hundreds of churches in Rome, each with relics and tombs that allow us within a glass pane’s width of a saint! A journey I believe every Catholic should attempt at some point in their life.

Third, it is never and I do mean never (at least in our earthly existence) too late to listen to God’s call and begin your own journey of discovering the purpose He created you for. While the path is not particularly easy and to be honest, is often frustrating for someone (like me) used to instant answers and immediate rewards, it is one with the ultimate reward..heaven!

When I am home safe and sound, I will add some photos from the Basilica and the Vatican Museum as well as a few of the churches I had the great honor to explore and pray in.

More on the “singing rocks” during my accidental pilgrimage as well over the next days.

Yours in Christ’s Love,
Mrs. Summitt

by

I Have A Confession To Make

I have a confession to make. Seriously, I need to go to confession. First, I need to check the confession schedule for a church I don’t attend regularly. It’s always easier to tell your sins to a priest you don’t really know and who isn’t going to see you on Sunday. Am I right? The funny thing is, the One really forgiving me knows who I am no matter where I go to confess 😉

However, I am going to talk publicly about this grave sin here before I confess officially. Consider it my willingness to own that I knew I was sinning, committed it willfully and only recently realized the depths of what that sin means to my soul and to my journey to live a saintly life.

I am a contracepting Catholic. I have had my reasons since marrying for wanting to ensure no pregnancy while still enjoying intimacy with my husband. Some are health related, others purely selfish. It isn’t that I don’t agree with the church’s teaching, I do. I’ve read the substantive parts of Humnae Vitae and Theology of the Body. I understand the tenants and acknowledge their validity.

Why then would I knowingly sin? The easy answer is I am human. The more difficult truth is I was not willing to surrender to God’s will for my life in fear that it did not match my own. The height of arrogance! I also didn’t believe enough in the love between my husband ( a non-Catholic) and myself to trust in how he would react to my fears about my health, pregnancy, and fears of becoming a parent with a 20 year old (another story) as well as an infant.

All that recently changed thanks to an uncomfortable sermon. Father challenged us all to look inside as to our worthiness to receive communion. He reminded us that receiving while knowingly having committed a grievous sin that we’ve yet to confess diminishes the receipt of our Savior in communion and is in itself a grave sin. Whew! After that sermon I was surprised anyone but the children went up for communion!

Those words forced me to face what I had earlier been unwilling to, that I was sinning at a magnitude unbecoming of my faith.

What did I do about it? I set an appointment with my doctor to talk about my health and a possible pregnancy. We meet again soon with specialists to talk about a strategy to prepare my body for potential pregnancy. My husband and I talked about what we will do if the doctors come back and say that a pregnancy is unadvisable given my current state of health. We also talked about my fears and my husband, while hurt, forgave me for my lapse in faith. We also broke out the booklet from our NFP training and are reacquainting ourselves with the process. We even discussed abstinence while we wait on all the other pieces to sort out. I am truly blessed to have married to such an amazing man!

The relief in having these discussions has morphed into a resolve that I speak openly about this struggle. I have recently watched “catholic” women exhort contraception and abortion as societal “norms” and necessities against the consequences of live and let live promiscuity. What these women fail to acknowledge is that love and life are precious gifts, ones meant to be fulfilled under the promises of God and not under the admonitions of men. We cannot blithely choose to ignore what God has allowed us, through science, to understand. Life is a gift. To us. To our children.

As for me, I seek out God’s forgiveness for my human failings. I put my trust in Him to move my life forward under His plan for me rather than my own flawed plan.

If you see me at confession….ssshhh….I still hope Father doesn’t recognize me 😉

Yours in Christ.
Mrs. Summitt

by

Prayers of Protection

I feel compelled this evening to write a post focused on praying.  Not just any prayers, but specifically prayers targeted at protecting us and using the authority given to us by God to drive evil from our midst.

Usually, I keep my less mainstream way of viewing prayer’s capabilities to my immediate family but today I experienced a very marked call to share it in this blog.  Some may find it fantastical, others may consider it fear mongering, but regardless of any single person or group’s perception, this post will be written.

I’ve often heard the saying, “Satan’s biggest accomplishment has been convincing people that he doesn’t exist.”  I agree with this statement.  I’ve had discussions with lifelong Catholics who have shared that they believe that Satan doesn’t exist.  That hell doesn’t exist.  That while people may do horrible things, there is no Satan, demon or evil entity urging people to do bad things.  Needless to say, I pray for people who hold these views.  The Devil/Satan is there and He is still hoping to gather more souls away from God.

Back to the topic at hand, prayers of protection.   I have faith that as I say the words of these prayers that God hears me and pulls me to Him as a father to a child, protecting me from the elements and those who might do harm.  He empowers me to dispel the darkest of entities and banish them from my presence.  He charges his Archangel, St. Michael, to defend me.  He provides me an army to drive out any and all evil with St. Michael, St. Gabriel, St. Raphael and all the Holy Archangels.  All I have to do to invoke this amazing heavenly security system, is pray.  (How awesome is that!)

I’d like to share two prayers I have been using recently.  One written by Pope Leo XIII while the other author remains unknown (at least to me).  The first is familiar to most Catholics and is finally being said at the end of Mass again here where we live.  The second may be familiar to some.  I learned of it through a holy card with one of the orders I placed on the Cukierski’s website.

The St. Michael Prayer

Short Version:

Saint Michael the Archangel, defend us in battle, be our protection against the malice and snares of the devil. May God rebuke him we humbly pray; and do thou, O Prince of the Heavenly host, by the power of God, thrust into hell Satan and all evil spirits who wander through the world for the ruin of souls. Amen.

Long Version:

“O Glorious Prince of the heavenly host, St. Michael the Archangel, defend us in the battle and in the terrible warfare that we are waging against the principalities and powers, against the rulers of this world of darkness, against the evil spirits. Come to the aid of man, whom Almighty God created immortal, made in His own image and likeness, and redeemed at a great price from the tyranny of Satan.

“Fight this day the battle of the Lord, together with the holy angels, as already thou hast fought the leader of the proud angels, Lucifer, and his apostate host, who were powerless to resist thee, nor was there place for them any longer in Heaven. That cruel, ancient serpent, who is called the devil or Satan who seduces the whole world, was cast into the abyss with his angels. Behold, this primeval enemy and slayer of men has taken courage. Transformed into an angel of light, he wanders about with all the multitude of wicked spirits, invading the earth in order to blot out the name of God and of His Christ, to seize upon, slay and cast into eternal perdition souls destined for the crown of eternal glory. This wicked dragon pours out, as a most impure flood, the venom of his malice on men of depraved mind and corrupt heart, the spirit of lying, of impiety, of blasphemy, and the pestilent breath of impurity, and of every vice and iniquity.

“These most crafty enemies have filled and inebriated with gall and bitterness the Church, the spouse of the immaculate Lamb, and have laid impious hands on her most sacred possessions. In the Holy Place itself, where the See of Holy Peter and the Chair of Truth has been set up as the light of the world, they have raised the throne of their abominable impiety, with the iniquitous design that when the Pastor has been struck, the sheep may be.

“Arise then, O invincible Prince, bring help against the attacks of the lost spirits to the people of God, and give them the victory. They venerate thee as their protector and patron; in thee holy Church glories as her defense against the malicious power of hell; to thee has God entrusted the souls of men to be established in heavenly beatitude. Oh, pray to the God of peace that He may put Satan under our feet, so far conquered that he may no longer be able to hold men in captivity and harm the Church. Offer our prayers in the sight of the Most High, so that they may quickly find mercy in the sight of the Lord; and vanquishing the dragon, the ancient serpent, who is the devil and Satan, do thou again make him captive in the abyss, that he may no longer seduce the nations. Amen.

V. Behold the Cross of the Lord; be scattered ye hostile powers.
R. The Lion of the tribe of Judah has conquered the root of David.
V. Let Thy mercies be upon us, O Lord.
R. As we have hoped in Thee.
V. O Lord, hear my prayer.
R. And let my cry come unto Thee.

Let us pray.

O God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, we call upon Thy holy Name, and as supplicants, we implore Thy clemency, that by the intercession of Mary, ever Virgin Immaculate and our Mother, and of the glorious St. Michael the Archangel, Thou wouldst deign to help us against Satan and all the other unclean spirits who wander about the world for the injury of the human race and the ruin of souls. Amen.”

Prayer of Authority 

In the Name of Jesus Christ, By the Power of His Blood…

In the Authority of His Word given to me as a Christian…

I bind and reject you satan and I command you to leave and I seal this room and place of employment, and all the members of my family, friends, relatives and possessions, in the Blood of Our Lord Jesus Christ.

I bind and reject all familiar spirits, all companion spirits, all cardinal spirits and spirits of affliction.

I bind and reject all spirits in the air, in the wind, in fire, in the netherworld, in the elements, all satanic forces of nature.

I bind and reject all spirits of confusion, disruption, division, fear, disbelief, deaf and dumb, disobedience, and spirit of games.

I bind and reject all the aspects and attributes of these spirits.

I bind and reject all interlocking spirits…

I command that there will be no communication between you or anyone else.

I command that you leave quietly.

In the name of Our Lord Jesus Christ, I break and dissolve every curse, spell, hexes, evil wishes, evil desires and hereditary seals.

I come against all satanic vows, pacts, satanic sacrifices and Voo Doo practices.

I break and dissolve all links with psychics, clairvoyants, astrologers, mediums, occult seers, satanic cults, fortune tellers, seances, ouija boards, tarot cards and occult games of all kinds.

Come Holy Spirit and fill this room corner to corner, ceiling to floor.

St. Michael, St. Gabriel, St. Raphael, and all the Holy Archangels, come and fight this battle for me.

I ask the help of all the Holy Angels, Holy Dominations, Holy Powers, Holy Thrones, and Holy Principalities to be my “Shield of Defense” against all evil spirits.

I ask this in the name of Our Lord Jesus Christ by the power of His blood and in the authority of His Word given to me as a Christian.

Amen.


Some additional prayers of protection can be found at this site:

http://www.catholicwarriors.com/pages/warfare_prayers.htm

I strongly urge you to prayerfully consider using both of these immediately and frequently (feel free to sprinkle some holy water around the place as you do!).  If your loved ones won’t say them with you, then say them on your own.  Believe in the words and promises given to us as Catholics and Christians by God.

God Bless!

Mrs. Summitt

by

I’m No Saint

I’m no saint.

While this pronouncement, dear readers, certainly won’t shock my husband and family (or even me), the discovery of how much I would like to be one, will shock us all.

In my pre-saintly ways I would have blamed others for this.

Fr Larry Richards comes to mind.

Note:

If you really want to feel like a bad Catholic, read Fr Larry’s book, Surrender.  

If you want to BE a good Catholic, read AND implement Fr Larry’s call to action in his book, Surrender.

However, I am currently evolving. A work-in-progress as my banner says above. Instead of blaming someone else, I would like to call out my soul. It has been longing, yearning, fighting for decades to be allowed its own way; the way our souls were designed.  It finally has found its own voice and it is urgently coaxing me to make sainthood my number one priority.

Before you condem me as a narcissist or heretic or other unkind word, I ask that you continue to read…

I’m not saying I want there to be a St. Mrs. Summitt’s Feast Day where priests talk about my saintliness and extol the faithful to mimic my pious ways.  I honestly hope no one notices once I’ve attained living saintliness.  After all, it only really matters if God deems me worthy of the title, not man.

If I were you, I’d be thinking at this point, “Why do I actually care about some married lady who is going to make her husband’s life miserable by becoming ‘saintly’?”  This married lady doesn’t want you to care about her journey to sainthood.  She wants you to care about yours while sharing why she now cares about her own.  (I’ll let Mr. Summitt speak to the misery of living with someone who wants to be a saint but admits to being a bit off from that goal)

All of these years I felt that it was improbable for me to live a life that was truly for God first.  I mean, I said I did.  I prayed that I would.  But who really wants to do that?  Have you looked around?  There’s some pretty sweet stuff out there for those who put themselves first:  cars, houses, boats, jewelry, travel, daily mani/pedis and root touch-ups.  Sure, that’s all “of this world” and I’m supposed to focus on “the next” but Lord, Powerball is $350 MILLION…can’t I pray to win it?  If it be your will?  I promise to do great things for You and Your Church with the money…and then I’ll focus on saintliness.

Now, I didn’t pray those exact words, but something like it a time or twenty over the years…

I still play the lottery.  I try not to pray too hard about winning.  I do consider all the great works I could do if I won.  I acknowledge that it is unlikely God’s will includes a Powerball win for me.

Now that you see I am really a sinner and am self-aware enough to acknowledge the fact, you can breathe a sigh of relief that you don’t need to try and have me committed as a psychological patient for thinking I am St. Mrs. Summitt.

The journey forward is obstructed by my own lack of full community with God’s will in my life.  I do try.  I pray, I plead, I confess.  All with the goal of finding out what God wants of me while hoping it is something I am already doing.  Well, not any more, but that is pretty much how I wanted to view the whole “will of God” deal.  I always knew deep down that my pathetic attempts to make my will into God’s will would fail.

So now I am on a mission to uncover the mystery of God’s will for me.  As I mentioned on my redesigned homepage, this blog is a part of what I believe to be the first step on the path of living God’s will.  Buying Fr. Larry Richard’s book was another step (well, the reading of it more so).  Opening my heart to truly hear God’s voice and to wait until He chooses to speak…that is the current step on this journey and I have the patience of a 3 year old.  Gimme!  Mine!  Now!  No!  (Yes, I also pray for patience and the ability to quiet my mind.)

Even now, in the still of the night, I wait.  I don’t even know quite what I’m waiting for but I know that when it arrives, there will be no doubt that it is from God and that He will continue to give me the grace, if I choose to cloak myself in it, to rise to the occasion, make His will my own and step ahead on  the path.  The one that leads to heaven, to God’s embrace, to sainthood.

I implore you now to listen to your own soul.  Listen to the cries to allow it to be what it was always meant to be from the first moments of creation…your key to heaven, to God’s embrace, to sainthood.  I urge you to consider stepping on the path to sainthood with me, not for what it brings you in this world, but for what it promises in the next.

I willingly (if not somewhat begrudgingly) give my life to Him, make His will my own and pray for the fortitude to finish the journey the way God intended.

God Bless!

Mrs. Summitt